9/1/2024 - Cigarette, cotton puff, plum, cucumber

"What are you doing?" His voice is full of disdain. I glance up at him, from my sitting position on the grass the plum juice dripping down throgh the space between my empty ring finger and pinky finger. God, I hate it when he smokes. His arrogence and false bravado that it affords him. Why is it everytime he smokes he gets cocky? "I'm eating a plum" I say with as much snark as I can muster, not wanting to ignite another fire of fists in my direction but also wanting to stand up for myself in some small way. He has been on me all morning and I can tell my words fall flat, he doesent even seem to remember that he asked me anything in the first place. He is greedily ripping the cotton out of a perscription bottle, the irrdecent orange of the container barely visiable at this time in the morning. He acted like he won the lottery when he fished the bottle out of purse that hea had nabbed from and unlocked and unsuspecting car earlier. The bottle doesent have a label, but he doesent care. Pills are pills right? The corners of my lips start to turn up as the fleeting thought that pills might be viagra, or something that causes diareahha. Not that I want him to have either, it will end up being my fault, and my problem, but for a split second the thought of him suffering due to his own stupidity tickles me pink. I am done with the plum, and I lay it gently on the ground. I don't finish it, just like I didn't finish the cucumber I quickly plucked from someones front yard garden earlier that morning (or was it last night, I don't have any sense of the time anymore). I lef the cucumber a few blocks back, in a college right off the path. It's a habit I have had for a long time, ever since I have been stuck with him. I find things to eat..small things, some would say seasonal things I guess. Right now there are plums, cucumbers, tomatoes, beans, pears, apples it seems like the whole world if full of things to eat, but no where to eat them. Like Hansel and Gretel I make sure to leave a little bit behind, always hoping that maybe someone who loves me will happen upon them and say "OH! HERE SHE IS!! WE HAVE FOUND HER TRAIL!! ONWARD!!". I take one more look at the bit of plum I am leaving behind, I say a quick prayer to those invisibile savors that are somewhere just out of sight. He's moving and I have to catch up quick.